"Just wing it"

Is it really more authentic if you “just wing it”?

Here’s yet another way that Hollywood skews our sense of reality. You’ve seen those dramatic scenes where a character gets up in front of a group of people, cue cards at the ready, and starts nervously reading their prepared remarks. 

Then they pause, smirk, rip their cue cards in half and say “You know what? I’m just going to speak from the heart.” They then proceed to deliver a perfectly eloquent, well-timed, funny-yet-moving monologue that brings the entire audience to their feet in an enthusiastic standing ovation.

So we see this over and over again, and we internalize this idea that preparation = fake, spontaneity = authentic, and the strength of your convictions will magically give you oratory skills that you never had before.

And I’m here to call bullsit on all of those ideas.

Yes, prepared messaging can be a way to avoid being transparent about your real thoughts and intentions. The obvious example of this is when you see a politician parroting scripted talking points over and over, instead of engaging directly with reporters’ questions.

But it doesn’t have to be. Planning can, in fact, be a way of making sure that your words more accurately express what you’re trying to say.

How many times have you blurted something out, and then immediately realized “oh no, that sounded bad; that wasn’t what I meant to say”? I know it’s not just me!

The thing about communication is, it seems very simple but there’s actually a whole lot going on. Your brain takes an idea and encodes it into language. It then encodes that language into sounds, gestures, signs, text, etc. That gets transmitted to the audience, who decodes those sounds, gestures, signs, text, etc. into language, and further decodes that language into ideas.

There are lots of opportunities for things to get lost or distorted in that process.

Sometimes the language you first choose doesn’t accurately represent your intentions, or it doesn’t capture the nuance of your thoughts. Sometimes words have a particular meaning or resonance for the audience that differs from your own, so the message they receive is not at all the one you meant to send. Sometimes you forget to give important contextual details, or you include irrelevant details that only serve to distract people from the point you’re trying to make.

Advance planning helps you avoid these scenarios by giving you a chance to reflect on how to convey your ideas clearly and accurately, and in a way that’s meaningful for your audience. It enhances genuine, authentic communication, rather than detracting from it.

It also gives you a chance to…wait for it…practice! 

Pacing, timing, and body language enhance your audience’s experience of your talk. Eye contact builds genuine connection between you and them. Interaction with the audience allows you to go deeper on your message. And all of these things are easier when you’ve practiced.

By the way, just in terms of your practical self-interest: unless it’s an improv show, arriving unprepared to speak is a good way to never get invited back as a speaker. Event organizers know that the quality of your talk reflects on them, and they get real nervous when they sense a risk that you might perform badly. “Winging it” is almost guaranteed to cause your performance to suffer.

This isn’t The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. (Don’t even get me started on Mrs. Maisel - standup comedy does not work like that!) and most of us are not as charming off-the-cuff as we think we are.

I have seen genuine panic in the eyes of event organizers when speakers got up and announced that they were “just gonna wing it.” Those speakers will not get a second chance, and now they’ve lost that platform to promote themselves.

Let me be clear: none of what I’ve said so far is to suggest that you should script everything down to the semi-colon. In fact, in most cases you should not do that. If you’re having trouble with perfectionism and using your notes as a security blanket rather than speaking more freely, come talk to me. We’ll get you out of that pattern.

What you do want to do is a bit of reflection in advance. Think carefully about what you want to say and how this particular audience is likely to receive it. Plan and practice until you’re confident you can say it in a way that feels authentic and natural, while achieving the level of polish and formality that the situation calls for.

Leave the TV tropes in TV Land. Real authenticity calls for adapting to Real World…reality. Your audience will thank you for it. Truly.

PS: Don’t forget to join the waitlist  if you want to get on the list for classes, workshops and coaching in the spring!